Regret

June 28, 2013

Regret is a complicated thing. Just because a relationship ended painfully, do I regret it? I was so happy while it was happening. But it hurts to think about it now. You build trust, you become raw and exposed. It is so much harder when they move on. What is closure? I don’t know what it is, but I somehow feel incomplete without it. I guess what it comes down to is being rejected. It’s really hard to accept that. I miss people. I miss certain relationships. Not necessarily romantic relationships, either. When your trust is violated, whether by a romantic interest or friend, it hurts. But would I different now if I hadn’t engaged in the particular relationship in that time in my life?

I found two new products that I have to name drop because are perfect for me and hopefully someone else out there can enjoy them too!

First, I used the last of both of my face washes AND my oil absorbing sheets, so I had to head right to CVS. It was an emergency that needed to be resolved immediately. Background: I have very oily skin and I had acne my entire teenage life, so I am very compulsive about the products I use on my face. I wash in the morning with a light foaming cleanser, then I use a deeper cream cleanser before bed. Anyways, I went to CVS and picked up my usual morning cleanser, but I tend to rotate between a few nighttime cleansers. I was shopping around, and there it was: a product I could use on my sensitive skin that would help oil control as well. It’s Neutrogena Clear Pore Cleanser Mask. Get this, it can be used as a cleanser everyday of the week AND/OR you can rub it on your face and leave it there for a few minutes to use it as a mask twice a week! Usually masks have too many crazy fragrances to make you feel relaxed or whatever, which make me break out. But I remember I actually was prescribed a mask when I had acne and it was the love of my life, but I haven’t found a good over-the-counter one since. It must be said, however, that tonight was my first using it, so if I wake up tomorrow morning horrifically broken out, I will return with an angry post haha.

Next, and this is very exciting, I bought this book a long time ago called, “The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World” by Dr. Marti Olsen Laney. I have a tendency to get excited at bookstores and buy like ten books at once, so it’s been sitting on the shelf as I have read other books. So I was flipping around the tv channels, and nothing was on, and then I glanced over and picked up this book. I just finished “Personal History” by Katharine Graham (another EXCELLENT albeit time consuming read), so I started to read this Introvert book. OH MY GOD. Talk about eye-opening!! I always knew I had weird habits and quirks that were just not normal and I thought were unique to me, but it turns out, it’s just introversion! It even gets down to very specific traits that are typical, such as needing naps and being grouchy after being with people or doing activities for too long! It’s so funny because I can shop for like two hours to the minute, but then I have to stop or I will be miserable! BUT, the book clarifies the stigmas that introverts are shy or lack confidence, which is not true for me, we just have a different energy and way of dealing with social, professional, and interpersonal relationships.

Just a few days ago, a friend of a friend gave me a ride back to the district. Afterwards, I told my sister that she was trying to chit chat and I was having none of it. I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just don’t like small talk. The book also pointed out another weird trait of mine, which is that introverts dread returning phone calls. And the author explains that we are introspective and do not communicate in the same way as extroverts, but it’s not bad or incorrect, it is just different. I am only a quarter of a way through the book, and I have already learned so much about myself. Like I said, I knew I had these odd characteristics, which I thought were just unique to me as a peculiar person, but it turns out, I’m not a super freak! So yay! That’s always good and welcome news.

Current Life

February 16, 2011

My birthday is in a week exactly! I don’t think I’m really going to do anything to celebrate, but I’m not dreading it. A lot of people my age joke about the horror of growing older, but I’m still in my young twenties, so I can’t be anything but happy!

This is really an exciting time of life: the last few months of college [note: I may have improperly used the colon in this sentence, sorry my grammar lovers!]. We’re all scrambling to figure out life but we love partying in the meantime! There just seems to be so much less bullsh** because nobody cares anymore; it doesn’t matter.

Final semester!!!

February 4, 2011

I am a final semester senior, which means I have to start to figure my life out! Crazy. I’m a procrastinator, so I’m not even going to think about the future until the end of April, but still, it’s the beginning of February, the deadline’s approaching!

This morning, I was supposed to have an interview for an internship at 11 a.m. near Farragut North. I was pretty sure there was a bus by my campus that went right by the location, so I looked it up, and sure enough, there was. I arrived at the bus stop at 10:20 a.m. because the bus was supposed to get there at 10:27 a.m. By 10:50 a.m., not bus had come, so I had to call and tell them I would be late. By 11:05 a.m., I was still at the bus stop, waiting for a bus. For some reason, that line from Titanic popped into my head, “Wait to die. Wait to live. Wait for an absolution that would never come.” Yes, I memorize movie quotations, what of it? Anyways, it was not as dramatic as waiting for the Lusitania or whatever ship eventually picked up the passengers from the Titanic, BUT, it is possible that I won’t get this internship since I cannot even show up on time. Thanks WMATA. Also, I did not even go out last night, that’s how important this interview was to me! Hopefully all goes well this afternoon and I can convince them that I am in fact responsible. We’ll see!